How Do I Manage My Emotions and Feelings When Someone Doesn't Like Me or Ghosts Me?

Dear Christina,

Hi, I would like coaching on managing my emotions and feelings and not internalizing when someone does not like me, ghosts me, ignores me(often), etc... I have a tendency of overextending, over reaching and over explaining myself, almost as if I'm forcing a connection. I always reach out and I don't allow anyone who may be interested in me to reach out to me first. I get anxious and bossy. Sometimes this can be with someone who does show some interest but when it stops or slows down, I get clingy. I'm aware of my own behavior and theirs and I still feel the same way. I also tend to self-sabotage and doubt. I noticed this behavior in myself with someone who we became good friends later on once we got to know each other. But he accepted me where I was at and I did the same and now we are great friends and I feel I can be myself but I almost don't show this in the beginning of something. It's like an early anxiety stage of getting to know someone and omg will they like me? Am I too much for them? I really like then, what if they find out who I am and reject me?

-Venessa

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Hi Venessa,

Thank you so much for writing in and requesting coaching on this. As you'll see from the coaching video I recorded for you, there was a time in my life where I could have written the exact same submission that you wrote. Word for word. Truly. I have also worked with countless people who could have written the same submission as well so thank you for writing it to me so that I could address it for you, and help countless others too!

Even though I know this pattern has brought you great distress, dis-ease, pain, and suffering, I also want you to know that you can begin to change the pattern with great confidence, fun, curiosity, and excitement. Patterns and experiences are only hard and insufferable when we don't have the mindset to understand the higher purpose for what's happening and the tools to change it.

In this coaching video I give you both! And lots of them.

So grab a pen and paper and take notes. Pause when you need to and come back to rewatch it a million times, if needed. There are SO many nuggets of information in the video that I know it will be life-changing to you. I could tell from your submission that you are sick-and-tired of this pattern and having the same experience over and over and over again. Lucky for you, being sick-and-tired of something is sometimes the place where a person needs to be in order to be guided to the people/resources/information that can help them break the cycle for good! I'm very excited that you found me! I know it's your time. And I am so very, very, very excited for you and all the amazing a-ha moments you are going to have with this coaching video and all the personal transformation that will follow it.

If you do the work, I have no doubt that there will come a day when you experience a man who truly chooses you and it'll feel amazing, natural, and perfect. You may already know this, but I'm going to tell you again: You deserve it. We all do.

Here's to finding the love of our lives, and knowing it.

With love, gratitude, grit and grace,